There's a relationship that only certain people get to experience in life.

This relationship, is the relationship between stand partners.

What's a stand partner?

A stand partner is the person that, as a musician, you share a music stand with. Most of the time, you share the same sheet of music. You sit next to each other, rehearsal after rehearsal. Day after day. And, if you're lucky like me, year after year.

My first stand partner was Nancy.

We both started playing the flute in fifth grade. We played together from fifth grade through twelfth grade. The only times that we were not stand partners was when I was on oboe, or when we were playing different flute parts. Seriously, from fifth grade until twelfth. If you think about it, that's at LEAST two concerts a year for eight years (add an additional concert/festival for seventh grade through twelfth, except for one year). Two years of marching next to each other for every field show for ninth and tenth grade (then she became the amazing drum major and I switched to pit). Plus marching next to each other for parades our ninth and tenth grade years. And sitting next to each other for football games. Plus performances at assemblies, open houses, memorials, and graduations.. PLUS, for fifth and sixth grade, we had two one-hour rehearsals each week for fifth and sixth grade, and then five one-hour rehearsals a week from seventh through twelfth grade.. And then add night rehearsals in high school and sectionals.. PLUS, we shared a marimba for drumline our senior year of high school, so that's even more hours.

Basically.. We've spent a lot of time together.

Seriously. If you look at pretty much every single concert video, every single concert picture that her parents have taken.. You'll see me in the background. I think it's really entertaining. There's always the redhead in the background.

Anyways, there's just something that stand partners share. I know some stand partners were competitive with each other. Some probably even hated each other. Nancy and me? It just worked. Nancy was always first chair, I was always second. And I was beyond okay with that. So there was never a competition, it was always just a genuine love for the music and the fact that we could groan and complain about the same complicated measure. She was always so natural and amazing at playing anything and everything, that I think wanting to be like her pushed me more than any grade or lecture ever could.

After spending so many hours, days, and years playing together, our friendship is more than just musically based. Over all the years, we also had real classes together. And we'd talk about real things, real life. Life outside of our wonderful world of bandos.

Since we've graduated from high school, we've seen each other regularly when she'd come home from school (oh yes, p.s. my talented stand partner is also incredibly gifted academically, and went to Harvard). And even though she is WAY smarter than me, we've always been able to get together for dinner or a drive, and just talk and talk and talk.

And we got to do that tonight. She's home from Harvard (actually, GRADUATED!). And we got together and talked. For four hours straight. I really don't think there was more than 10 seconds of silence. And it was just so awesome to be able to think about all the time we've spent together. And how we can still find stuff to talk about, after twelve years of friendship, and being from two totally and completely separate roads of life!

Anyways, for those of you who didn't get to experience the bond between stand partners.. I hope you have something you can compare it to. I will forever be grateful for my stand partner and friend :)

I've developed  a new hobby.

And I love it.

No, it's not a hobby for fishing. It's not a hobby involving playing a game. It's not a hobby for stalking celebrities.

It's hobby of watching people do what they love.

I think it's actually a rekindling of an old hobby.

I used to LOVE it - watching Catie play water polo, watching Carrie play basketball, watching Cory perform at a concert, watching Craig play in competition, watching Mae, Michelle, and Steph do guard stuff.. I loved it.

And it's been awhile since I've been able to do that.

Until recently.

My neigbors are ridiculously talented.

I have lived in the same house my entire life. And during this entire time, three doors down, has been this amazing family. Dad, Mom, Son, and Daughter. Bob, Carol, Matt, and Becca.

With us kids, it worked out great, because when you throw Matt and Becca in with Selah, Jenna, and me, we're all only about a year or two a part - it goes Selah, Matt, me, Becca, then Jenna - so we all always had someone to play with.

An extremely large percentage of the stories involving anything between the time of birth until junior high involve this family. And there's a less percentage as we've all gotten older, but they're still there.

When we were younger..

Disneyland. The beach. Wild Rivers. Mary Kate and Ashley movies. Playing video games. Trips to Palm Springs. 4th of July. New Years Eve. Thanksgiving. Christmas afternoon catch up. Matt's baseball games. Birthday parties. Swimming in our pool. Being baby sat by Amber across the street. Walking to Taco Bell. Climbing in the apricot tree. Dressing as twins. Synchronized swimming in the pool. Playing house.

And now as we're older..

Talking about school. Talking about life. Talking about God. Talking about music. Talking about boys. Talking about girls. Going for walks. Going for drives. Catching up for hours and hours and hours. Thanksgiving (still!). Disneyland (still!).

It's been fun to watch our friendships go from being friends because we lived close together and since we couldn't drive, it was either us or no one.. To actually being friends because we like each other, and get along.

There have been times over the years, where we'll go months and months and months without seeing each other.. And then sometimes we'll see each other every week or so - it really just depends on our schedules.

But recently, Matt and Becca have shown me these amazing talents that they have. They are musicians. And very gifted musicians at that!

I've known about Matt's music for a few years now.. I even have a couple of songs on my iPod that he probably wishes I didn't have.. And I remember when he first started getting into music, all I really kept thinking was "Matt loves video games. He's not a musician." and boy has he proven me wrong!

And Becca.. Well.. I have this vivid memory that took place at one of her birthday parties YEARS ago. We were playing a game, and all of us guests were supposed to guess answers to questions about Becca. And I remember that the answer to "What does Becca want to be when she grows up?" was most definitely "a singer". So I think it's always been in her blood - but never did I imagine she'd be as amazing as she is.

I absolutely LOVE watching Matt and Becca perform. Matt's been performing longer than Becca, but they're both amazing up there behind the microphone.

Oh, and for the record, they don't just perform covers. They perform their own music. Which is always something that is so hard for me to comprehend (give me sheet music, and I can play it, no problem. But give me a blank sheet of paper with no words or filled in staffs.. And it will remain that way.. Except maybe a few doodles..). Their covers are freaking amazing, too. But their original music is so awesome, I can't explain it.

I just love watching these two people (siblings of mine, really) use these gifts to get up there and perform and share their abilities with other people. I don't know if I could ever do that. But they can and do, and I love it!

Anyways, I love those two (and their parents) and I love what they're sharing with the rest of us these days :)

And I love watching people I love.. Doing what they love.. So that other people can love it, too!

I've learned recently that there are two different types of jealousy.

There's the type of jealousy where it's purely selfish. You see someone, and all you can think of is "I really want that purse" or "I would look so much better with that jacket than her". There's nothing attractive about that. It's a typical "me, me, me" attitude. Not cute.

Then, there's this other type of jealousy. And I can't figure out if jealousy is the right word.. But it's a jealousy when you hear something about them, and you're jealous.. But for a good reason. And in the midst of your jealousy, you're so stinking excited for them! You don't want them to not experience/have whatever it is you're jealous about.. But you do wish that you could experience it along with them.

Maybe I should give an example.

I've had this same scenario play out with a bunch of my friends in the last few months. A friend is going on a missions trip. They're going somewhere else, outside of their home, city, or country, and they are going with the purpose of helping others, showing them Christ's love, and just fully dedicating every ounce of their being to the Lord for a certain (or uncertain) amount of time. And when I hear this, my response is typically "I am jealous of you in the best way possible". 

Now, I don't think I've ever thought the thought "Ugh, I wish that was me instead of them". I'm always just full of happiness and excitement for them (and promises of prayers for safety and opportunities flow from my lips), and then I think about how badly I would LOVE to be able to just drop everything I have going for me here in comfortable, routine, Orange County, California.. And just go.

Go. Go. Go.

Not go on vacation (even though I did just go on vacation and it was amazing).. But go somewhere, anywhere, and just talk with people, get to know them, share God's love with them, and see where that takes them and where it takes me.

Now, I know that jealousy is not a good thing, but, I think I've decided that I'm kinda okay with the second jealousy, because it's kinda encouraging to the other person, and also kinda a motivation for me.

On the vacation I just went on, I got to spend a few days with just my grandparents in Tennesse (my mom's parents). We spent hours just talking about life and Jesus. And it was ridiculously encouraging and just an amazing time all the way around. I can't remember how many times throughout our few short days together that I pretty much just sat there, hands in the air saying "I don't know what God wants me to do. I don't know where He wants me to be going. I don't know what He wants me to be focused on. But I'm ready. And He knows I'm ready. And just in case He doesn't know.. This is me telling Him - I am ready!" 

I've been trying really hard to not have an attitude of being content with just "floating" right now. I'm at a spot in my life where I should be quite happy. I have a job that I love.. But.. I really don't think it's something that I'll make a career out of. Don't get me wrong, I love the people, but I don't get excited about working with computers. If anything, I love the fact that I spend every day helping people (even if I moan and groan sometimes).. And I'm in school, learning stuff.. But I'm really bored with it. I don't get excited about math. I don't care about geography. I tend to sit there thinking "anything that I don't know now.. Well, that's what I have Google for." And I just feel like I'm wasting my time sitting in a class learning things that I really don't care about. I want to be learning about Christ. I want to be out there, talking to people and sharing what I'm learning.. I have way, way, way more conversations about Christ and what He's doing in my life and in the lives of others than I do about who fought what battle in the Civil War and why 2 + 2 = 4.. I try to take "interest classes" to help spark an interest in what my major should be.. But I find so much more joy in pulling out a book I got from the Christian Book Store and reading that than listening to a teacher talk about something.. It's just so boring. If I'm filling my head with something, I want it to be good, Biblical stuff.

Don't get me wrong, I am content with life - actually, I love life! And I know there are people that are far worse out there than me - that might look at my life saying that they wish their only problem was not knowing their major, that I should be happy with just a job, a roof over my head, and family and friends that love me. And I am happy - I know that I am extremely blessed, and I try my hardest not to take it for granted. But I don't want to just be "happy" or "content". Because being content can oh-so-easily turn into complacency. And I know that this life I'm living isn't because of me.. It's because of Him. And I want that to remain my focus.

Jon Foreman (from Switchfoot) has this song out there.. It's not on any of his CDs (yet), and you can't buy it on iTunes. It is on Youtube though (click here!).. And there's this one line from the song that resonates in me.. "I want to thrive, not just survive".

I want to thrive. Not just survive.

And I don't want to thrive by THIS world's standards. I want to thrive by HIS. Because that is all that matters.

So, this is the original video that Rob Bell posted promoting his book Love Wins.

I will tell you, that my first reaction when I watched that was "Uh, I have absolutely no problem believing that Gandhi is in Hell". I've always been told that it doesn't matter how good of a person you are, it's about what you believe.. Who you believe in. And from what I know of Gandhi, he wasn't a Christian. But, props to Bell for using Gandhi as a way to draw people in, because (especially non believers) would have a hard time thinking about Gandhi - who is known for being this great peace making guy and for inspiring and helping tons of people - going to Hell. I feel like most spiritual leaders that I know would have gone the other way with using Gandhi as an example.. Instead of implying that how could you really believe that someone as good as Gandhi could go to hell, it should instead be even someone as good as Gandhi will go to Hell if he doesn't believe the Truth... Anyways...

This is a parody video that was sent to me by a bunch of people, and it cracks me up!

It cracks me up, because yes, he's making fun of Rob Bell's absurdity.. But at the same time, he makes some very valid points.

"Why not just talk like an idiot?"

And in other news, I'm bummed that I'm going to be missing opportunities to hear Francis Chan and John Piper speak while I'm on my vacation in a few weeks! God has a sense of humor, that's for sure..

The first thing is always that "Concentration" song. We used to play it all the time when I was younger, in the car and stuff.. Concentration, concentration is the game. Keep the rhythm, keep the rhythm just the same. Sub-ject: Animals. This might not make any sense in typing, but you'd sing this song while doing these 4 hand motions in tempo, and the motions were 1) both hands slap your lap, 2) hands clap together, 3) right hand snaps, 4) left hand snaps. And each action was done in tempo, and at the same time, you were singing the song, in tempo. So it'd be something like.. Con (hands on lap) cen (hands clap) tra (right hand snaps) tion (left hand snaps), concen (hands on lap) tration (hands clap) is the (right hand snaps) game (left hand snaps)... Like I said, I don't think that makes sense while typing.. But it was a fun game. After you decided on the "subject', you'd go around to all of the people playing the game, and they had to come up with something that fit into the subject, and they had to verbalize their choice in beat, but you had to say it while you were doing the two snapping actions.. Sorry, that probably only remotely makes sense if you know the song/game.