To say that this week was just like any other week would be a lie. A very, very big lie.

But it's a Saturday afternoon, it's not raining at this exact second, and I can't help but laugh and be grateful.

God has a sense of humor, and if you don't think that's true, then you've been worshiping the wrong god.

We all know what a normal eyeball looks like..

Well, this was my eye on Tuesday.

 

I have a thing for being horrible at car maintenance.

For example, the first time I had to get my brakes changed, this is what my brake pads looked like:

And this is what a brand new brake pad looks like.

Needless to say, I haven't gotten any better at maintenance over the years.. So I got my brakes done on Wednesday (that took until Thursday) which required new brake pads and rotors on my front wheels, costing about $300.

And then.. The highlight of my week.. I got into an accident yesterday.

This is what my car looked like when I got it in August of 2007.

And this is what it looks like now.

P.S. I also put new tires on all four wheels two weeks ago.

It was ridiculously emotional to clean out my car yesterday. This was my first car. My first big purchase. The end of high school, the start of the "real world". So many memories in that car. Good and bad. And it was a ridiculous bummer.

BUT! There are some random things to be thankful for!

1 - My car registration is due in November, and I hadn't paid it yet. That's about $130 that I could have paid and would have basically gone right down the drain.

2 - I needed gas. It was going to be my first stop after work. So that's $50 I didn't spend.

3 - AAA got there very fast, so I was only in tears on the side of the freeway for about 20 minutes.

4 - It was down the freeway from work, and everyone was very willing to come help me and get me and do whatever I needed. It was so reassuring to know that if my mom or someone couldn't come help me, that I would still be in good hands.

**Sidenote: I called my office to say I'd be late/wasn't coming in before I called my mom, dad, AAA, tow truck, 911.. I'm not sure what normal protocol is there. But I feel like I probably should have called my mom first. It all worked out fine, but I still find it kind of entertaining. The other lady was asking for my driver's license, and I handed it to her and said "I'll be right back, I need to call the office".. Hahah..

5 - My mom was able to come get me. I've dealt with minor fender benders, but never has it been to the point of needing a tow truck. I had no clue where we were going to need to take my car. But my mom was able to leave where she was and come get me and handle it. There are some days when I'm super independent and think I can do everything on my own, and then there are days when I just want my mommy. Yesterday was one of those days. Love you, mom!

**Sidenote: My mom saved me on Wednesday as well when I was in tears at the brake place because they were keeping my car overnight and I didn't know how I was going to get home and how I was going to be able to keep housesitting.. And mom was able to come get me (Jenna tried, but she went to the wrong brake place.. Hahah She tried though, and I love her for it!) and figure out the plan as we were a car down.

**Extra Sidenote: On Wednesday when I called my mom to explain the brake ordeal, I was in tears, sobbing that "They have my car and I don't know what we'll do about housesitting cuz they won't give it to me and I was trying to be good and get my brakes done and.." and my mom was like "Are you okay?" and I responded "Yeah, I'm okay, BUT..".. Well, later that day my mom mentioned that when I call her in hysterics, I need to START the phone call with "I'm okay, but.." and then go into the saga. So yesterday, when I called to tell my mom I was on the side of the freeway cuz I totaled my car, I started out the conversation the way we discussed "Mom, I'm okay, but.. I was in a car accident and I can't drive it and the CHP is here and the other lady..".. That was probably a phone call where.. Well.. I kinda wasn't okay exactly.. But I started it out the right way!

6 - I wasn't injured. I have chemical burns on one of my arms from the air bags (which, if you've never experienced airbags.. consider yourself lucky. The yellow smoke and smell was almost more terrifying than the glass cracking and not knowing if my car was going to explode or not..). I also have a light bruise from the seatbelt and a little bruise on my stomach, but it's not too bad. I'm sore today a little bit, but I know it could all be a lot worse.

7 - Seatbelt and airbags! I know I just complained about the airbags, but I am thankful for them! Everything would have been a lot worse if I didn't have airbags or a seat belt!

8 - The CHP officer that came was ridiculously nice! He was very much concerned about making sure both parties involved were okay, and he could have had an attitude that could have easily made the whole thing be so much worse.

9 - I received countless phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, Tweets, emails, etc checking on me. I was exhausted after the adrenaline wore off, so if I didn't respond, I apologize. But I am so thankful for everyone that reached out! More importantly, I'm thankful for the prayers that came with the messages. Knowing that I had people praying for me was so comforting and reassuring.

10 - God was watching out for me. I have no doubt in my mind. And it's only because of Him that I can actually find the good things in this whole crummy situation. It's all a part of His plan and I can't wait to see what unfolds because of it.

I'll miss my car.. But it was just a car.

I'm fine, and I'm thankful for that!

I've never been impressed with the Crystal Cathedral (sure, they have a pretty building. That's about it. I'd meet in a shack on the highway if I felt the teaching was theologically sound). And I'm not even going to get into the fact that they have a female pastor.

But.. Today, they filed for bankruptcy.

I don't know what to do with that.

Recently, I've found myself surrounded by a certain type of people.
And it's not non-Christians..
It's not unmotivated people..
And it's not selfish people..

But I'm suddenly surrounded by smokers.

Everywhere!
In all of my different circles, there's at least one person that smokes now. Sometimes more than one.

And it's driving me crazy.

Honestly, if they want to kill themselves, that's fine. There's nothing I can do about it

If they think it's cool.. Then boy, are they living in the wrong decade.

If they want to always smell disgusting.. Well, I really hope they eventually learn to use Febreeze and gum.

If they think it's attractive.. Then at least they'll probably only attract other smokers, so that'll get all smokers off the market..

There's just absolutely nothing enticing about sticking a cancer stick in your mouth. I don't get it.
I feel like I smell like cigarettes because of how often I'm around them now.

And I have never smoked or touched a cigarette, so the smell is not because I'm doing anything with them!

Why smoke?

Everyone that smokes HAS to know that it's bad for them. There's no excuse for someone to say "Oh, I didn't know it was bad".

My aunt died from lung cancer from smoking. Smoking kills.

Is it like a form of self mutilation? Is it the "big kids" way of cutting oneself? Because people that cut themselves KNOW it's bad for them, yet they still do it. And for most of them to stop, they have to get help. Hey smokers - get help! There's nothing wrong about asking for help! There's patches, gum, support groups.. Just ask!

Is smoking just a sign of someone that's weak?

If it's how you cope with things going on.. Then gosh, that's just sad, isn't it? Why not run? Or read? Or call someone? Or pray? Do something productive instead of something that's killing you.

Wear a WWJD bracelet. Would Jesus smoke? Heck no.

1 Corinthians 6 tells us that our body is a temple for the Holy Spirit. We are to HONOR God with our body. How does smoking and filling your lungs with tar honor God?

And maybe it's just me, but my opinion of people automatically decreases when I see a cigarette in their hand. And as long as they have those cigarettes as a part of their lives.. It will always be in the back of my mind, sometimes even the front. And we're supposed to live our lives above reproach.. And we should be known as living our lives relying of Christ for everything.. So if someone sees us with a cigarette in our mouth, whether it's "just to relieve stress" or not.. Well, shouldn't we be relieving our stress in a God pleasing way? Heck, why not spend the time that you're sucking tar into your lungs reading the Bible instead?

When someone smokes, it really is one of the first things I think about in association with them. My aunt died when I was in first grade, so I really didn't get to know her. However, other than explaining her actual relation to me and everyone else.. The first thing I think of is how she smoked. And how whenever we visited her and her kids, I knew that the first thing we'd be doing when we got home was taking a bath and washing everything that we'd brought down there, because they reeked of cigarettes. I wish I knew more about her. But what I do know is that visiting Aunt Sue meant that I wouldn't get to sleep with my blankie that night because it'd be in the wash.

I guess I just really, truly don't get the disgusting habit. I wish someone could explain it to me.

Mild rant. Because I'm seeing and smelling cigarettes everywhere..

And it just makes me sad.

I have two new passions recently. Well, they've been something that have always been in the back of my head in one way or another, but this past year for one, and past summer for the other, my heart for these two things have just exploded.

One is adoption. And not just adoption in general, but international adoption. It's honestly one of the things that I stay up at night thinking about a lot. Like, I deeply wish I was older and married so that I could adopt 5 kids and just love on them and teach them about Jesus. Try and heal the wounds that are there, and just smother them in love. I used to always joke that I want to adopt because I can't fathom the physical pain that comes from giving birth. Oh me, oh my. I know that obviously millions and millions of women have given birth to beautiful babies successfully, and have said that it's "the most beautiful thing in the world", but it makes me want to cross my legs forever some days. There are some girls my age that have known their entire lives that they were meant to be moms. That it was what they genuinely believe it's God's plan for them. I've always thought about how I genuinely think I'd be okay if I found out I couldn't have kids. Don't get me wrong. I love the little munchkins. I could hold them for hours and hours, and just watch them sleep. And if God chooses to bless me with kids of my own, I will love them with all that is in me. But right now at this second, adoption is on my mind. Ask me tomorrow, and maybe I'll talk about little redheaded kiddos running around. :)

But the idea of adoption is so amazing to me. A little over a year and a half ago, my dad's cousin adopted a little girl from Russia who has Cerebral Palsy. I read Kara's blog all the time, and I'm just so completely fascinated and in awe at how God can bring the puzzle pieces together from across the world. And how Anastasia's life is different forever because Kara and her husband followed God to pursue this beautiful girl. And actually, they're Going through the process of adopting a second little girl with CP right now.

Man, I want faith like that. I want to just trust God and be used to change someone's life by giving them a home and family. God's just completely been softening my heart towards these international adoptions recently. We'll see what He has planned as I get older. :)

And the other new passion is a passion for reaching the lost. Which, I know, is something we've been taught since birth, but this is different. This is towards a specific group of lost people. A specific "religion". I've been reading, talking to people, and praying. A lot of praying. I want to learn as much as possible about this "religion", just so that I can show them how wrong they are. How this "religion" isn't ensuring their salvation, it's ensuring their damnation. And I know that all other religions do the same thing, but I'm just really, really feeling drawn to this specific group of people recently. I totally know why, too. But I'm not posting about that, for privacy reasons. I hope that THAT's a story I can tell one day..

Anyways. God's just been laying these two things on my heart a lot lately, and it's so nice to have some specific things to be focusing on other than just work and school. He's got something in the works. No clue what it is, but I am confident that it's all in His hands, and I have no control. And I am 483% okay with that.

I am absolutely obsessed with this version of "Blessed Assurance" by Enfield..