I'm not a Christmas person

And it's not cuz of "how the true meaning of Christmas has been lost" or because people who call themselves "Christians" crawl out of the woodwork and decide they should go to church (they'll go back at Easter, too). Although that is all true, that's not what makes me "not a Christmas person". I've come to the realization that there are three reasons as to why I'm not one to get into the Christmas spirit.

1) I have been in band since I was in 5th grade. That's ten years. And I love it, don't get me wrong. But bands in general get to play whatever they want. Whatever field show they want, whatever parade songs they want, whatever songs they want for their Spring concert, or if they have some summer performances.. But every. single. band has one "required" type of concert - a "Holiday" concert. Every band starts playing Christmas/Jewish/Holidayish songs come winter. When you were in high school, it normally wasn't until Thanksgiving, as field season was drawing to a close and it was getting close to winter break. Every school was busting out some Christmas songs for their concert and maybe a song or two (holiday themed, of course) for a parade. And right now, I'm in a community band. That has been playing Christmas songs since September. Yes, September. I've had Jingle Bells, Silent Night, Din! Dong! Merrily on High, Oh Christmas Tree, and all of the normal songs, stuck in my head since then. And by the end of the about 15th minute of that first rehearsal in September, I am over the Christmas music. Yet here we are, three months later, still playing the same music. If Christmas were in those first 15 min of the first Tuesday of September, I'd be a huge holiday person. But it's not, so... The music now just puts me in a blah mood and I'm over the holiday season.

2) I stress out. Over presents. Not over whether I get what I want (I rarely actually have something on my "list". Normally I just want gift cards to Barnes and Noble. Last year I wanted one thing: a new chain for my necklace because it broke during tour season. And I didn't get it. And I was crushed. And I didn't get it for my birthday either. And I cried. (I did get it a few months later..) This year on my list I had a curling stick and the Wizard of Oz on DVD, and I got them both and I'm beyond thrilled). But over what to get others. And not over how much to spend - I don't care. But.. Over what to get people. I'm not creative at all, so coming up with actual presents is a challenge. Then I'll come up with a good present for ONE person, but I feel guilty about not coming up with something for anyone else, so I end up not even getting the ONE gift. I stress and stress and stress. I know everyone will "love" whatever present I get them, but I want to be the one to get them "the" present, the perfect present, so I hate settling... That's another reason I'm not the yuletide's season's biggest fan.

3) And I just recently realized this reason the past few weeks while talking to Phill one night. Like, I was just talking about how I'm not excited about this season.. And I realized I haven't ALWAYS felt so negative about it. It wasn't until high school - my Junior year to be specific. It brings back all of those memories of that December. And so now every December, that's what pops into my mind. It probably doesn't even go through his mind anymore. I can guarantee it doesn't even cross hers at all. But it's always so vivid in my mind. And I'll forget about it most of the rest of the year.. Until someone mentions a few key words... But December hits, actually, December 2 hits, and it becomes the strongest thought in my head. Constantly. That's why I'm not a Christmas fan.

And I'm not a Scrooge, deep down. Other people get excited about it, and that's cool. I really have no desire to impose my blah feelings towards it. But whenever everyone else is like "omg shopping!" and "oh my goodness, let's go look at Christmas lights!" and "I can't wait for our Christmas party!" and "I love this music!".. I won't say anything, and I still get those looks of like "Uh, you're not excited..." and so I say "Meh, I'm just not a big Christmas person" and then I get the lectures and the "name calling" and I get them just talking and talking and talking and trying to like, convince me to become a Christmas person. Maybe it will happen one day. But seriously, I can be very stubborn, and the more someone tries to push me towards something, the more I pull away. So.. Please don't. Let me get excited about Christmas on my own.

I do love the real meaning of Christmas though. I'm so thankful that Jesus was born. And I'm in awe at Mary and Joseph and their faith and confidence that God knew what He was doing. I can't imagine being in their situation. But I'm so glad it went down the way it did. And that God is an amazing God. And that this day represents an amazing miracle that happened thousands of years ago. It was life and world changing. Gosh, God is incredible.

If you're a big Christmas person, I hope that you had an amazing day and holiday season. And if you're not, then I hope you've found at least one reason to smile today.

Jesus is the reason for the season, and I don't care what you say, it's true :)